2015. január 14., szerda

The Sorrows of Young Werther

 Winter is coming
And Werther is fucking.
Sorry, sorry, he’s making love.
Just for the heck of it, I said fuck.
Yes, he’s pounding her like it would go out of style
Cause screw Platon, who is that guy
To tell him what to do?
How to live, how to love?
Or to admire only her mind, and not her muff!

It all began at that famous party.
Well, the tequila was a bit too salty,
So our Werther drunk well and good.

As the dubs of the steps got louder and louder
This guy snorted up some blue crystal powder,
And in this state of “high as fuck”
Werther decided to try he’s luck.
He went and stood up right in front of the girl
And started to shout sweet nothings at her
Right ear, cause her left was pressed to the speakers
(She was slightly deaf from all the drum and beasters).
“Oh my sweet lady, how can I describe you?
Like a delicate flower, I can only admire you.”
But Charlotte was shaking it in Nicki Minaj style
And her buns attracted all the anacondas in the aisle.
“You should not act thus.
You taught not to excite my imagination with such
Displays of heavenly innocence and wonders,
Nor awaken my heart from it’s slumbers,
In which it dreams of the worthlessness of life!
But why not? Because you know how much I love you and your lies!”
Lotte paused her twerking for a second,
And presented a well rehearsed speech, I would recon
“I don’t give two flying fuck’s about your love!
Do I look like a low life bitch, you dawg?
I live in a beach house, I got everything I want
And my fiance inherited a lot of money from his aunt.
I get my nails done five times a week.
I get a ‘Daaamn bitch’ each time I walk down the street.”
Charlotte proceeded to shake and grind
But with a smirk on her face
She burped up some old hip-hop rhymes.
“If you really want to win me over
You have to treat me really nicely,
Buy me all these ices.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and that Donna
And still, you have to beg for it
I’m gonna make you beg for it.”

Our guy was surprised, to say the least
But he decided to play along with the beast.
Werther left the party, but died a little inside,
With some headies he treated he’s wounded pride.
He sold he’s soul to the devil, and got a nice house instead
But he’s looks were bolder then a slice of white bread.
So he buffed up, tatted up
And got a Prince Albert in he’s cock.
He made mad money as a big dog drug dealer.
Charlotte was impressed, and finally let him…see her.
After it was done, she gave him the bill
He got herpes, she popped a morning after pill.

Sitting on the bed, he light a cigarette and started to think.
The poor guy looked like he really needed a drink.
“After everything I’ve done
This was too short, too nothing, too dumb…”
Werther just stood there mesmerized,
But finally a glimpse of enlightenment sparkled in he’s eyes
And said: -Well guys, I think I’m out.
 If this is love now, - he let out a desperate shout-
I don’t have any connection to this world anymore.
I’m going home to kill myself,

Farewell Lotte, I’m out the door…or the window.

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